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Strain review: Açai Gelato 

click to enlarge This weed may put a little ringing in your ears. - BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods
  • This weed may put a little ringing in your ears.
One of the best things about travel, of course, is returning home. And that goes double for when you’ve traveled to some state or place where weed is not legal, or is difficult to score. Maybe you’re able to sneak some tokes somewhere, or have a session at some far-flung friend’s house, and that is glorious — walking around a city, or on a beach with an illegal smile is glorious. The first free big hit you take when you get home hits you like a salve, a healing ointment for the mind.

When I recently returned home from a trip to the beach in South Carolina, I began with a big fresh hit of Açai Gelato. It’s thick and dense, but not too tightly packed, like the old bad brick stuff smuggled over borders used to be. It breaks apart easily but without crumbling, falling almost into natural sections. Its color is camouflage, a patchwork of different shades of green, beige, brown and orange, all flecked with an almost iridescent crystalline coat.

I have no idea what real açai berry smells like but this is a super pungent strain whose smell combines the pleasant part of a freshly mowed lawn with the coconut smell of suntan lotion, with a touch of lemon and maybe aloe, all combining for an ultra-summer, ultra-soothing smell that’s almost worth just sitting with and smelling rather than smoking.

Almost. Its flavor, especially when vaped, maintains all of the freshness of the unburnt buds. This strain exists as a combination of strains bred in part, and named, for their sweet flavors — Sunset Sherbet, Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies — and that combination shows improvement on all of them. (Gelato alone is also, sometimes, called Larry Bird, perhaps because the legendary Boston Celtic famously loved to ride around mowing his lawn.)

Taking that big hit upon return from a week of absence was medicinal — not in that it soothed my sunburn or anything. But it smoothed down all of the existential kinks that even leisure can engender. It has, in fact, that same effect as diving into a pool on an extremely hot day and then coming up again for air, hair wet, refreshed, the same and yet somehow different. This puts the re-creation into recreational smoking.

Despite the sudden shift on the front end, on the back end Açai Gelato eases downward gradually into an almost imperceptible disappearance of its effects. In the meantime there’s a gauzy electric static suffusing the air around you. It can feel a little oppressive like, say, William Faulkner’s winding prose, which is at once exhilarating and enervating. It’s the kind of weed that puts a little ringing in your ears if you’re silent, as if prefiguring the tinnitus we’re all going to give ourselves with earbuds.

One disclaimer: This Açai Gelato isn’t the best for repeated highs in a day. If you smoke it early, you might want to smoke something different later on. Like a lot of weed, it starts to feel muddier upon a second session. So start with it and later switch it up if you have the means. Or better, nomenclaturally at least, start with something else and save this for dessert.

Strength: 7
Nose: Lawn freshly mowed by Larry Bird (including diesel from riding mower) by a lemon tree with an aloe plant in hand
Euphoria: 6
Existential dread: 3
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 1
Drink pairing: Lawnmower beer
Music pairing: “Somebody, Somewhere” by Larry Birdsong
Rating: 9

With the plethora of dispensaries, the Indy cannot verify local availability of our weekly strain reviews. We recommend checking with local dispensaries directly.

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