Strain review: Cough OG 

click to enlarge Cough OG’s smoke seems to expand in your lungs. - BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods
  • Cough OG’s smoke seems to expand in your lungs.
‘If you don’t cough, you don’t get off.” I first heard those words in some crazy midnight trailer in what would have been a thick Southern accent if the voice of the dude spitting them out was not so wrecked by the propulsions of the very act he was describing. Then he pounded on his chest a few times. I think he was one of those bong makers who spent most of their time thinking about pot, but it is hard to remember exactly when I heard some older head say that and then spend a few stoned minutes talking about the capillaries in the lungs or some such shit.

With lungs that are finally healing from decades of on-and-off cigarette smoking, I’d like to just say that I get off just fine without coughing, thank you. I would prefer not to cough. It is a signal that something is wrong. I mean, it happens, especially with dabs, but also if you pull on a vape pen too hard. Or smoking bongs. Or smoking joints. We are, after all, taking this shit into our lungs. To pretend that it’s virtuous is like those Harley riders who make the most of their lousy loud mufflers. It’s not cool.

So The Cough — at least one strain of which developed in Colorado in the prelegal days as Colorado Cough or Fort Collins Cough, though there were lots of other, only partially related Cough strains around the country — has an immediate drawback if you’re not drawn to a chest-thumping hack. But at least it’s honest.
The original Cough is a Sativa-heavy combo of Haze and Northern Lights. There’s also Strawberry Cough and now OG Cough too, which should not be confused with the original Cough, but rather, a combo of the Cough and the ever-popular OG Kush strain.

But I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make you cough. The smoke is a thick, cloudy white and it seems to expand in your lungs. And maybe those old heads had some wisdom, because it also hits quickly, starting somewhere between your lungs and your mouth and creeping outward through the rest of your body and your consciousness at the same time. And then the relaxation from the OG and the uppy cough vibe collide in a feeling that’s like a holiday or an unexpected snow day. It feels like you are floating around the room on borrowed time, not productive exactly, but peppy. That can bleed, though, into a touch of anxiety if you start to think about all of the things you have to do later and can end with a mood that’s slightly melancholy but also full of gratitude.

Cough OG smells a lot like artisanal, organic turpentine — or what I imagine that would smell like — with a sour, piney, gas smell hitting a very high note and some bassy undercurrents of ripe compost, river dirt and damp wood.

It’s a nice strain but the heavy cough, which can also, like dabs, finally fade off into a tinnitus Eraserhead hum, is a bit of a drawback. A vaporizer helps a lot, but the high there is slightly more subdued, under the skin rather than all over it. Still, it’s a better-than-average option and a good strain for after dinner — the times you would want a thick and heavy pipe tobacco or a cigar.

Strength: 6
Nose: Turpentine, wet wood, river dirt
Euphoria: 6
Existential dread: 4
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 2
Drink pairing: Mint tea
Music pairing: Bob Dylan, “Suze (The Cough Song)”
Rating: 6


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