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Strain review: Golden Lemon 

click to enlarge Though Indica-heavy, Golden Lemon can get edgy, busy and a bit frantic. - BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods
  • Though Indica-heavy, Golden Lemon can get edgy, busy and a bit frantic.
The weed ecosystem bears a weird resemblance to the mediasphere. There was a time when pretty much everyone was smoking the same shit, just like everyone was watching the same sitcoms.

But then the supply side, in both cannabis and media, busted wide open and there was no longer a dominant source either of information or intoxication. Now the skill is in knowing how to choose what you like when there is such an overwhelming variety. The signal of good shit can be overwhelmed by the noise of stuff you don’t dig.

When you hear all of your friends talking about some kind of new hybrid, or see people making a big deal out of a strain — when a strain goes viral — you figure you should check it out, like the new Netflix show.

I don’t know how many people I heard talking up Golden Lemon as the best grass they’ve had in ages. Since it’s an Indica-heavy hybrid, I kinda ignored Golden Lemon for a while. But the stoner exclamations of “duuuuude” echoed around the weed world like retweets and I figured I’d give it a taste.

When I looked into it, I discovered that Golden Lemon comes from Lemon Skunk and Kosher Kush. I’ve always been a fan of both of these, partly because skunk goes deep into memories of some of the earliest decent weed I ever had and the smell has an associative contact high. Golden Lemon is profoundly skunky, with that roadside drive-by stank that is so sickly sweet that it’s both enticing and repelling at the same time. But it has a bright overtone to that dankness. (By the way, y’all, “dank” can apply to good buds, like “dank nugs,” but please don’t use it for other things you like, or you will get gross real quick.)


For all the smell it’s got, there’s surprisingly little taste in the Golden Lemon. It’s like a cheese that’s all nose, stinking up the room, without paying off on the palate. But that smell! Scientists and growers think that the terpene limonene is one of the chemical compounds that accounts for the uppy feeling of some buds and here it may help offset the deep-sleep funk of very high THC percentage.

The high is kind of like vacation or a holiday — it’s supposed to be relaxed but turns out a little edgy, a little busy, and a little frantic, while still managing to be refreshing. Golden Lemon is great sitting-around-the-living-room weed, which is usually my least favorite kind. It doesn’t really propel you to do shit but it doesn’t make you tired either. It’s the stereotypical stoner shit that makes you watch the Simpsons or play video games or have meandering conversations.

What it really does, though, is make your thoughts loud, kind of like you’re yelling to yourself in your head, except you’re not yelling because there is no emotion or urgency to it. Just like the volume is turned up, OR YOU ARE THINKING IN ALL CAPS WITHOUT TRYING TO INDICATE ANYTHING BY USING THEM.

As I sit here thinking in all caps, laughing a little bit at it, at myself, I realize that Golden Lemon is the weed equivalent of a dank meme: It combines different elements to create a bombastic expression of something pretty simple and expressionless. It’s not my favorite, but I’ll definitely click on it again.

Strength: 7
Nose: Animal musk muted with lemon air-freshener, wrapped in grass clippings
Euphoria: 7
Existential dread: 4
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 3
Drink pairing: Pinhook rye with one cube of ice
Music pairing: Jackson 5, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
Rating: 7

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