Sunny D is weed for cool summer nights 

click to enlarge Sunny D actually is a nighttime weed, but not the kind that sends you to bed. - BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods
  • Sunny D actually is a nighttime weed, but not the kind that sends you to bed.

The dog days of summer are upon us as Sirius, the Dog Star (or Orion’s dog), burns bright in the sky and the heat strangles the air, turning it into dead weight, and dogs, like mine, lie around lazily all day, drooping jowls to the floor in front of a fan, making us humans more miserable about our constant need to scavenge in zones outside the A.C.

When you’re high, the air conditioning machine — in modern Greek they call it the Climate System, which I like a lot — is just too much, like being wrapped in a mesh of artificial air. When you are controlling your climate, swamp coolers are better, perhaps — evaporation working miracles instead of Freon. But the best thing about the dog days is nightfall, when the heat sneaks out right after the sun goes to sleep, when you can sit outside with a bowl and something cold, like a big glass of iced water, and almost dissolve into the dark coolness of the air like sleep.

That’s what’s been happening as I’ve been smoking the Sativa-leaning hybrid Sunny-D, which is a cross between Tangie and an unknown male. Because despite its name, Sunny D is a nighttime weed. Not nighttime like some sleepy-time tea myrcene-terp-soaked Indica that glues you to the couch or puts you to bed, but like a weed for playing a guitar on a porch or taking a late-night walk or cleaning the kitchen, drawing — I know, it also makes you kind of sappy and these examples sound like that song “Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” whose lyrics are actually an amazingly good version of an O. Henry story in which a man and a woman separately decide to cheat on one another and take out classified ads, probably in their local alt-weekly, and they end up responding to one another’s ads, because they both liked Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain and all of that. And they fell in love again.

If you are a late-night jazz DJ, this is the weed for you. It might even make your voice deep and your throat scratchy with exactly the same dulcet pops and hums as the records you play. Sunny D is midnight spice.

Sunny D is a kind of weed that makes you appreciate the things you are doing, whether it is drinking an icy beverage or avoiding the weather. It is a Zen weed, in other words, all about the transcendence in fetching wood and chopping water — er, or maybe the other way around. But it also makes you slightly self-conscious and makes your eyes extra-sensitive to light, so, for both of these reasons, it craves the dark. And yes, I realize that I am talking about the high as a separate entity that can want something, but isn’t that sort of what it is, when we collaborate with this plant, we create a new consciousness that infects all of us?

Sunny D smells but does not taste anything like the gross fake orange drink after which it is presumably named, yet it has an odor kind of like a rotting orange peel that you forgot in your lunchbox over the weekend in the fourth grade, except in a pleasant way, with touches of damp, trampled clover at dawn emanating off its sort of ugly and malformed deep green, crystalline buds.

Strength: 7
Nose: Orange peels, clover and dew
Euphoria: 7
Existential dread: 1
Freaking out when crazy person approaches you: 7
Drink pairing: Piña Colada
Music pairing: “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” by Rupert Holmes
Rating: 6


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