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Table 67’s brunch needs help 

click to enlarge MATTHEW SCHNIPER
  • Matthew Schniper

Maybe I should have smelled smoke based on the superlative promotional language on Table 67’s website, hollow words like “best” and “unforgettable.” Let’s get real — not happening. Granted, we’re not in for the evening steakhouse menu or a lunch sandwich; instead we’ve tried the $18-per-person, all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch “extravaganza.” That it is not; missed by a mile.

Only our Colorado Mule cocktail and Bloody Mary ($9 and $7 extra, respectively) are good — though we did mix our own Mary at the bar, hitting our first hiccup when we must use a tiny-holed pepper shaker meant for a table setting instead of a proper pepper grinder for freshness. When we venture to the banquet spread, we find a waffle maker and mini commercial cereal boxes more fit for a roadside motel’s continental breakfast, plus pastries that seem ubiquitous to grocery store delis. In fact, we’re not sure if much of anything from the entrée and carving stations is even made on-site, as everything from mushy, bland steamed vegetables to brutal, cold potato cubes and bullshit sodium-bomb gravies appear to have emerged from freezer bags.

Beef tips on spaghetti noodles are also salt mines. A made-to-order Eggs Benedict fares serviceable at least, but we literally take one bite of each item and decide our stomach real estate rates too precious for this. So, $67 later post-tip to essentially drink a cocktail each, we find refuge at Gray’s Coors Tavern for a reliable slopper and frosty schooner of Batch 19. 
Location Details Table 67
102 S. Union Ave., #103
Pueblo, CO
719/299-4966

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