Pie Crust lets you focus on you (and little else)
Pie Crust lets you focus on you (and little else)
When you puff on some Pie Crust, you’ll feel like you just got hit with some tear gas. The smell (absinthe and limoncello and CK1 — this stuff tastes like you’re strolling through the men’s section of a department store) and the taste (mint but also pumpkin pie) is not so much emitted as released, clearing out your throat and nostrils — it is vicious.
Before this nationwide uprising against police violence, I’d not have chosen such a loaded comparison. But it’s pretty fitting right now because I imagine the sheer number of people being tear-gassed over the past few weeks has vastly expanded how many people know what that feels like.

Made up of two strains I’ve not encountered before (Malibu Pie and Grapple Cookie) Pie Crust is a Sativa-dominant that hits you more like an Indica: The energetic chatter it elicits is so intense, it kind of wears you out and gets you sleepy.
Really, this stuff is a motivation killer, especially if you use it early in the day. If you want to do anything other than sit around or maybe nap, avoid Pie Crust. I found this refreshing though. I have a problem being still or not working all of the time or even just feeling generally unproductive. And Pie Crust’s effect, a kind of domineering chill, makes productivity pretty much impossible.
Here is a complete list of what I did after smoking some at 4:45 p.m. on a weekday: I ate two veggie burgers; I stared at Twitter for an hour just scrolling; I watched an episode of Unsolved Mysteries and fell asleep; I woke up and ordered Chinese food; I ate ALL of the Chinese food; I watched 22 minutes of the 1985 movie Teen Wolf; I fell asleep again.

Everything goes quiet with Pie Crust. The world feels manageable and smaller. Once you’ve detached from all of your responsibilities — legitimate and contrived — thanks to Pie Crust, you can focus on yourself. Who knew?