The Pearl Principle — no inner irritation, no pearl...” says American poet and Tibetan Buddhist Lama Surya Das. Pearls are a great metaphor for trauma and the beauty found in human perseverance. I’ve had a lot spinning on my personal Buddhist prayer wheel recently and I wanted to soothe my personal sufferings with some felicitous and delightsome hash. To align my luck with Fortuna, I concluded my philosophizing and decided to try somewhere new.

Jade Kola is cloistered away in a corner of a strip mall/plaza off Astrozon Boulevard in the Southeast. The facility is a little too cozy, but I was immediately knocked out by their incredible customer service. This is par for the course for 90 percent of the dispensaries I visit, but I was especially moved this time. Working alone, the manager was about to go to the bank but postponed the trip to serve me first. Considering he was working alone at the time, I was cock-a-hooped by his gesture and went home feeling appreciative and empathetic. As a former lone wolf budtender, I was pleased as punch at his good will.

Diving into my divertissements like Narnia’s Edmund dunking into Turkish Delight, I came up deuces! I find 2 grams of the same strain — Purple Roze! One is just live badder and the other is the same except it is “refined.” Likely, this means the refined resin was distilled another time... just like “The Clear” in a previous review of XJ-13. This “refined” jewel looks like a white pearl and shines like one too; it smells like crystal Jamaican seawater with notes of neon, and the lick is like white beach sand mixed with Choward’s Violet Mints. Strangely enough, the “refined” Purple Roze tastes nothing like the other live badder — spicy carrots mixed with earthy red-wine cheese on the palate.

These are by no means twins, though they were extracted from the same strain and likely the same batch. MIND BLOWN. Hopefully the reader misses the chunks of my cranium and forgives my idiocy on not realizing sooner that a “refined” batch of butane hash oil might sing a totally different tune than the browner, unrefined version. The only similarity I could find between the grams was the terpene myrcene.


Pivoting to focus on the strain parentage... Purple Roze is a “limited edition” offering from Ethos Genetics combining Purple Punch and Roze. The jury’s out online whether it’s Indica or Sativa, but Ethos claims it as an Indica hybrid. The disagreement is not confusing due to its rarity. Ethos has “retired” it from its line of genetics and this cultivar is only available at their trade shows and is advertised by Ethos as “boutique all the way.” I side with Ethos, although I wouldn’t blame you for not trusting me with my confuzzleded and confabulated palate trying to decipher (badly) between the grams of live badder.

The Green Knight, a film interpretation of the Arthurian legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, comes out July 30. Pining for the movie, I think of a quote from the tale: “Ever faithful in five things, each in fivefold manner, Gawain was reputed good and, like gold well refined.” This “refined” hash has me pondering — with hash pearls cast by Jade Kola in front of swine like me... I toil and tinker to think of a way to become more “refined” like a knight.

Until I no longer feel like a pig, I will just have to hope my wife can help me turn my idiocy and lunacy into chastity and chivalry.