Sen. Ted Cruz

Let me say one word to you: Nuts.

Now, let me say one name to you: Ted Cruz.

They’ve become synonymous, with the Texas lawmaker perennially topping national lists of goofy, right-wing political goobers. Only, Ted can’t rightly be called a lawmaker, for he’s not a serious participant in that process, instead devoting his senatorship to political stunts and picking silly PR fights with a growing list of enemies.

Running out of people to attack, Ted has found another species for his vitriol: Fictional icons. He’s been padding his right-wing credentials by going after Mr. Potato Head, Mickey and Pluto and, believe it or not, Muppets. This U.S. senator has dedicated the power and public resources of his office to demonizing popular creatures on Sesame Street, specifically Big Bird and lovable little Elmo. Ted rants he has proof that Muppets are covert tools of “government propaganda.” So this ridiculous excuse of a senator is saving America from… Muppets.

But for a whole bag of assorted nuttiness, you can’t beat Sen. Rick Scott’s 11-point plan to “Rescue America.” A disgraced former health care mogul, this mega-millionaire reinvented himself as a wingnut Florida senator, and he now chairs a policy arm of the Republican Party.


Government propaganda?

In February, he set forth a stunning agenda of far-out right-wing extremism that he says his party will push if they re-take the Senate this November, including:

1) Implementing new federal taxes on the poorest half of Americans. So — as Scott puts it — they’ll “have skin in the game.”

2) “Stopping socialism” by terminating Social Security and Medicare.

3) Spending unlimited billions to build Donald Trump’s folly of a border wall (and, ironically, naming the scam after The Donald).

Fiddle-faddlers like Cruz and Scott have turned the once-proud U.S. Senate into The Little Nut Shoppe on the Hill.

Meanwhile... It’s been an all-time record year of runaway wealth for America’s billionaires, with this tiny clique vastly widening the chasm separating them from us hoi polloi. For example, Amazon jefe Jeff Bezos hauled in $190 billion for the year. That pays him more than $360,000 a minute, for every single minute of the year.

So much taken by so few who do so little while harming so many.

Bezos erected his corporate empire on the backs of non-union workers he routinely exploits, plus millions of taxpayers he bilks. Indeed, his recent surge of wealth comes not from innovation or hard work, but from the windfall of bloated Wall Street stock prices, making him richer without lifting a finger.

Yet media and politicians hail Jeff as a Big Thinking Genius! Seriously? This self-centered ego’s top achievement this year was to have the world’s largest superyacht built for him — a 400-foot-long, seagoing palace. But — oops! — Jeff’s pleasure craft can’t get to the ocean, because it’s too tall to go under a bridge just downriver from the Dutch city where he’s having it built. No problem for a billionaire “genius,” though — Boss Bezos simply instructed local officials to dismantle their historic bridge so his toy could pass through. But, no go, for outraged locals learned of his imperious scheme and quickly organized a massive rotten-egg brigade, pledging to pelt the colossal yacht (and possibly Jeff). Very bad political optics. So, the American mogul’s billions were not allowed to buy his way out.

It’s still unclear how he’ll get it out to sea. But one Dutch wag helpfully pointed out to him: “You can still take your giant boat out for short trips down to the bridge and back.” If these mega-rich privileged ones are so smart, why are they so stupid?